A reflection by Emily Weisenbach, sister of RMS VIII alum Matthew Stuen
The naming of HMI’s Stuen Hall holds deep meaning for my family. My parents, Cynthia Stuen and Bill Weisenbach, married in 1978 and made the then-unusual choice to keep their own last names — a reflection of their shared belief in equality and individuality. My mom came from a family of all girls and my dad from a family of all boys, so when it came time to think about children, they created what they called a “cosmic lottery.” If their first child was a boy, he’d be a Stuen; if a girl, a Weisenbach. The next child would take the other name, regardless of gender.
I arrived first, in 1981, as Emily Weisenbach. My brother Matthew Stuen followed in 1985. We loved our different last names — it was a point of pride, and an early lesson in identity, respect, and fairness.
In 1995, I enrolled at The Masters School in Dobbs Ferry, NY. Pam Clark, then Head of School, had made Masters a founding “Member School” of HMI. Four years later, Matthew followed me to Masters — and, in classic Matthew fashion, applied to HMI’s 2002 spring semester (RMS VIII) without telling anyone until after he’d been accepted.
Matthew’s semester at HMI changed him. He loved the challenge, the beauty, and what HMI called “education with altitude.” It tested him physically, grounded him emotionally, and gave him a new sense of confidence and purpose.
In 2004, during his freshman year at Widener University, Matthew died suddenly from a massive seizure. He was 18. My parents and I knew the best way to honor him was to support the place that had meant so much to him — HMI. Friends and family donated in his memory, and over time, those gifts, along with ours, helped build Stuen Hall, replacing the yurt that once stood there. More than 30 of us came together on HMI’s campus in June, 2010 to dedicate the new building and remember Matthew.
Inside Stuen Hall hangs a photo of Matthew with a quote from Lao Tzu: “He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.” Matthew became mighty at HMI — and he continues to inspire us every day.
Now, two decades later, the spirit of love, legacy, and naming that began with my parents’ “cosmic lottery” lives on. When Zack and I married and blended our families, we found ourselves surrounded by a constellation of names — Weisenbach, Kolstein, Burke, and Stuen — each carrying its own history and light.
Just as my parents used names to honor equality and connection, our family’s names tell a story of remembrance and renewal. Our son, Wyatt Matthew Burke, carries my brother’s name and spirit forward, and our daughters’ names, Anabelle Weisenbach Burke and Jordyn Claire Kolstein, each tell their own story— together forming our beautiful, blended family. Even our dog, Kasha V. Stuen, reminds us daily that Matthew’s presence endures in small, joyful ways. Though our children never met Matthew, they know him deeply — through stories, photos, humor, and the phrases that still echo through our home.
In many ways, Stuen Hall stands as the embodiment of my parents’ “cosmic lottery” — a testament to how names can carry both equality and legacy, individuality and connection. The decision they made all those years ago to keep their own names was never just about identity; it was about honoring the idea that love can hold many names and still be one family. Through Matthew, and through the hall that bears his name, that belief continues to live on — reminding every student who passes through that who we are, and what we carry forward, matters.
When Zack and I were married last year, it felt only right to include HMI in our celebration — and our loved ones were thrilled to honor Matthew and this extraordinary place that continues to shape so many lives.
Thank you to the supporters who donated to HMI in honor of Emily & Zack’s wedding and in memory of Matthew Stuen:
- Penny Burke
- Steven & Elizabeth Bush
- William & Virginia Cressey
- Mary J. Donahue
- Frances Freedman
- James & Diane Huning
- Lora & Steve Juhl
- Erin & Rich Laraway
- Janet Lyden
- Annette & Gerard Moussard
- Cynthia Stuen & Bill Weisenbach
- Diantha Thorpe
- Linda Vincent & Tom Derr
- Carrie & Brian Waltermire
- Paul & Christy Weisenbach
This article first appeared in the Fall 2025 Newsletter.